Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Anniversaries
Today is Seth's 2 year anniversary working for the electrical company he works for. It's a day to be celebrated (especially since it means 3 more paid holidays and some more vacation time.) It's a company he's proud to work for, so to tuck another year away under his belt is something to be proud of. He's really had a great experience working for this company. He started this job just a few months after college graduation, and a few months later, decided to apply for a better position within the company and got it! He works in a positive atmosphere with great christian bosses. It's ssssuper.
But, today is also the 1 year anniversary of the loss of our third child. That's something that I'd rather not remember, but something that I feel needs to be remembered. I need to revisit that day every so often to remind myself that I'm not in control. God is. He knew that there was something else in store for our family. It's hard to understand, but I know that he has a great plan for this one we're now anxiously anticipating.
If you've ever lost a child, it's debilitating. I don't remember a lot of the details from that day and the ones that immediately followed, but I can pick out some of the more vivid events: I remember being at work and feeling "crampy". I went to the bathroom and found out I was bleeding. I "took care of the situation" and went back to my desk to finish out the day. I don't know why I didn't just go home, I guess I just didn't want to draw attention to myself. I spent the rest of the day in a bit of a fog, just waiting for 2:00 to roll around so I could split. I don't really remember what happened between then and 7:45. I may have called Seth to come home early and help me with the kids, or taken a nap...but I remember watching a reality tv program in between trips to the bathroom. It was one of those where the participants are, one by one, voted out of the game by their peers. I remember watching one of the women on the show crying in front of the camera because she knew she was "next". I sat there with tears streaming down my cheeks thinking that "eviction" was such a stupid thing to be crying about. I was actually mad at this woman. Seth just held me and we cried together.
The next morning I called work to let them know I wouldn't be there and why. Then Seth called the clinic and made an appointment to come in. They told us to bring in what I can only remember as a cool whip container containing our hopes and dreams for this child we had only a week ago been thrilled to "meet" as the Dr. had miraculously detected an early heartbeat. I think I spent most of the day in bed, going from dozing to crying to dozing again. My world was spinning out of control and I was powerless to stop it. I felt as though no one cared. There wasn't going to be a memorial service or an obituary. There wasn't anything to do to memorialize this life that we had already loved. I cried out to God for answers, but all I felt was emptiness. I was mad that I couldn't control this situation on my own. I had to surrender my control and climb into his lap in order to feel comfort.
Even a year later, this loss is still fresh in my mind, but the pain is subdued with the anticipation of our newest family member. This child will never take the place of the one we lost, but it helps to soothe our souls knowing that God hasn't forgotten us. In return, we'll not forget the one we lost- one year ago today.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
One Big Happy
Friday, July 13, 2007
5 Years
Wow, I can't believe that Seth and I tied the knot 5 years ago today! Time has flown by. I can't help but be excited that we already have five years under our belt, and he still gets my heart a-flutter.Forget that it's Friday the 13th...I don't believe in any of that superstitious nonsense, (as you saw in this post,) we're still going to have a great anniversary. Right after work, we're headed to St. Cloud for a nice, kid-free Olive Garden feast. We may putz around the city for awhile and then go home so as not to compromise tradition: We'll watch the wedding video.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Monday, June 18, 2007
"M says MMM..."
For Malachi's birthday, we got him the Leap Frog Fridge Phonics. It just so happened that this morning, the letter M was on cue in the fridge magnet when I leaned in to add a couple of items to our grocery list. I was surprised and a little amused to hear the phonic song start to play as I was writing "cheese" on our fridge pad. My swollen belly had pressed the consonant and I began to hear:
"M says MMM, M says MMM. Every letter makes a sound: M says MMM."
Sweet, sweet vacation
Now, I didn't say I wasn't busy...just not attending my place of employment at all this week. No sirree, our plates are still very full. Today I play chaperone at 9, taking my brother and his friend to football camp, then swimming lessons at 10 and a quick drop of my children and my sister at home so that I can make it to a funeral at 10:30. Then home to make lunch feed the kids...and off again to Brittany's piano lesson at 12:30. I was thinking after that that I would take them to the Aquatic Center here in town, but after this morning, we'll see. My children still need to nap, but an early-to-bed wouldn't be so bad either.
So far, the rest of my week isn't as busy: swimming lessons tomorrow and Thursday, and gymnastics Wednesday. Then our town's parade is Saturday, with Works over Water that evening...and a possibility of some of Seth's family stopping by for the festivities. I imagine they'll want to do something fun between the morning parade and the fireworks at dusk, so Saturday is looking pretty eventful already. Maybe Sunday I can relax during this "vacation"!
My Baby is Three!

This past Sunday, our son Malachi turned 3! It was kind of surreal to me, since at this point, he's our youngest. In fact, the night before his birthday I went in to kiss him goodnight again on my way to bed, and I just had to hold him. I picked up my sleeping child and rocked him gently as I prayed for him. I thanked God for the sweet little boy that he was and prayed for the young man that he would become. I couldn't have asked for a better little boy!
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Go Ahead, Giggle
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? (brilliant, love this!)
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water
tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon,
and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A: Premature death.
Q: How are the main parts of the body! categor ized? (e.g., abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax
and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax
contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five
bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.
Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does "varicose" mean? (I do love this one...)
A: Nearby.
Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome .
Q: What does the word "benign" mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
Friday, April 06, 2007
good friday
And yet as I think about it, without that vicious, cruel killing, I myself would be doomed to die. Die. Eternal Damnation. And why not? I deserve it.
Tonight, I saw the depiction of the life, death and resurrection of Jesus in The Promise. I was struck by not only the many miracles Jesus performed as a man on this Earth: The humble healing of the leper, the touching resurrection of the young girl, but also, naturally, by the vile act of Jesus' killing itself.
As the Roman soldiers prepared Jesus for his raising onto the cross, I allowed my mind to wander to the actual crucifixion. Their loud hammer strikes pounded long, thick, cold nails into the wrists of my Savior. I sat in my seat, numb, as I pictured myself as the one holding that hammer. Every sin I had ever committed was another loud beating. Every selfish and judgmental thought was responsible for putting Jesus through this. It was enough to bring me to tears. My body shook with remorse and regret. What kind of Love is that for us? It's a love that, to me, is unfathomable....
I guess, now that I think about it, "Good" Friday is kind of an understatement...isn't it?
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Important Recall
The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units
manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect
in the primary and central component of the heart.
This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype
units, code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction
of the same defect in all subsequent units.
This defect has been technically termed "Sequential
Internal Non-morality," or commonly known as S. I. N., as it is
primarily expressed.
Some symptoms:
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish and/or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion in the mental component
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion
The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for
this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and
service, free of charge, to correct this "SIN" defect.
The Repair Technician, JESUS, has most generously offered
to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these
repairs. There is no additional fee required.
The PROCEDURE for repairs in all areas is to upload your
burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next,
download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, JESUS, into the
heart component.
No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, JESUS will replace it with:
1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self control
Please see the operating manual: the B.I.B.L.E. (Believers
Instructions Before Leaving Earth), for further details on
the use of these fixes.
WARNING: Continuing to operate the human-being unit
without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing
the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list, and
will result in the human unit being permanently impounded.
For free emergency service, call on JESUS.
DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall
action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN
defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent
contamination of that facility.
Thank you for your attention,
ALMIGHTY GOD
P. S. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this bulletin!
Monday, April 02, 2007
McKenna Joi: A Memoriam
My miscarriage was one of the hardest things I've ever gone through. Okay, maybe the hardest. But to tell you the truth, I never felt alone...and I never felt that no one cared. I had my God, who was there when I needed a lap to crawl into and a chest to lay my head upon. I had my dear husband, who was feeling many of the same things I was, and was there to cry with me and to pick me up when I physically couldn't move. And I had a great network of friends and family who showed me support and love.
But I had to wonder what had caused this tragedy. Was it something I had done? My doctors assured me that there was nothing I could've done to either cause or prevent what had happened. Heredity may have played a part. My mother had 5 miscarriages. What made me think that I was safe? That I would never suffer the same heartache? I may never have the answers.
And maybe the most disheartening of all? Eight weeks is probably the earliest you can detect a fetal heartbeat with a "primitive" doppler heartrate detector. But lo and behold, my doctor was able to detect the heart tones during my 8th week of pregnancy! Extremely rare! How mind-numbing that only a week later, I was carrying my precious, highly anticipated little offspring into the doctor's office in a Cool Whip container.
How do you memorialize such a short life? To be true, we didn't know the gender of this baby. But I will tell you this: during my short pregnancy, I did have an attraction to all things pink. It is this that I cling to for some sort of vitality. So we picked out a name for this child, like we would have any other one of our children. And she will be remembered in our hearts forever:
Our little McKenna Joi
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
This and That
Seth's been busy with rehearsals for our Church's production of The Promise, which "promises" to be a sucess, due to all of the hard work of the cast and crew. They'll be practicing almost every night this week.
I'm taking the next two days off of work...my mom's cousin LaVonna died this past Saturday and the funeral is Thursday. It'll be nice to spend the extra time with my kids, but I just hope work doesn't pick up while I'm gone.
Tomorrow is our baby's 3rd ultrasound. Hopefully we're far enough along to determine the sex. (Sorry Paul, gender.) We have names picked out, but we're not telling. (neener, neener.) And if, by some strange alignment of the planets, you got wind of our decisions, you'd best keep your mouth shut! :)
Saturday, a friend and I have arranged a playdate for our kids. It'll give them a chance to get to know each other better outside of church. (And give their mommies some time to chit-chat ;)
Well, that's all for now...and just a hint: I loooove comments!
Friday, March 23, 2007
Neglect
I'm so sorry, my faithful readers. You don't deserve this. I intend to make it up to you. I don't know how, but I will:
How's two posts in one day for starters?
;)
I Got That Lovin' Feelin'
Praise the Lord for reassurances that everything's still fine.
On another "Lovin'" note, what better way for Seth to show he loves me than the following:
Wednesday night I had Choir practice, with Worship Team practice following. I knew I wouldn't be home until after 8: 30 at the earliest. And, this week being Spring Break, Survivor was on Wednesday night this week instead of Thursday night. Imagine my surprise when I get home to find my house immaculate and the VCR cued to play the recorded Survivor that my husband had taped! How did I get so lucky?!
Friday, February 23, 2007
That The World May Know
As of today, I'm 12 1/2 weeks pregnant! Which would put our due date at September 7th, 2007.
The plan now, is to continue to work full time (as long as my body allows), until probably the end of August, then to stay at home with my three children!
We told the kids about a week and a half ago. Madison was visibly excited, while Malachi didn't really seem to have a care either way. He is, however, sure that this baby is a girl. He's adamant. And he loves to sing to my belly after our nightly ritual of reading 9 Fruits Alive and his children's devotional. I have got to get it on tape: He giggles his way through "Jesus Loves Me", while Mommy tries her darndest to keep her belly from rumbling with laughter!
Madison's also excited that her mommy will get to take her to school next year!
Daddy is, as always, wonderful! He has really stepped up to the plate to make sure I'm always comfortable, and that most of my cravings are quenched. He spoils me, really.
So there's our news! Enjoy!
Saturday, February 17, 2007
My Little Muses
They obviously did a good job playing nicely and keeping quiet, because the next thing I knew, I awoke to my alarm shining "6:38". I knew it was time to get up, but I just lay in bed for a few minutes listening to the two of them:
Mad: "Okay Malachi, now you say, 'Ladies and Gentlemen, presenting QUEEN ESTHER!!'
Mal: "No!"
Mad: "Please, Malachi? Can you have your bear and your turtle do it?"
Mal: (Conceding to his sister's incessant pleas) "Ladieth and Genta-men..." *clears his throat and lowers his tone to a more manly voice* "Ladieth and Genta-men, prethenting, QUEEN ETHTER!!"
Mad: "Okay, now I have to go change my dress cuz in this one, people can see my underwear."
*Madison runs into her room, and quickly returns in a different, equally tattered frock.*
Mad: "Okay, Malachi, now you say, 'Ladies and Gentlemen, presenting PRINCESS ARIEL!!'
Mal: "No!"
Their little game continues, so I stick my head in to see what's up, and to let them know I'll be taking a shower. I find Madison standing atop a Building Block Tote, donning her homemade yellow crown and, of course, her dress-up clothes. Malachi, meanwhile is looking content just to play with his stuffed animals on the floor.
Isn't it fun being a Mommy?
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Full-Time, Schmull-Time
I've never worked full time in my life (well, save for the few weeks last year when I started this job and helped my former co-workers through the remainder of the school year...but it's different when you're just starting a new job. That's another post entirely.) And, I want to say that I will never do it again, but I'm not God, I can't see the future. A good friend of mine just this week had to go back to work full-time to support her family. Her husband fell 20-30 feet out of a tree in their yard and broke his back 5 months ago. I'm sure she didn't see herself in this position any time soon.
But to tell you the truth, it's really getting old. Don't get me wrong, the money's really nice, but take a peek in one of my windows at home, and you may get a sliver of what I'm talking about. It's not that I don't have time in the evening to get things done, it's just that by the time I get home, eat supper (thanks to the World's Greatest Husband who usually has food on the table for us when I get home), bathe the kids and put them to bed, I have NOTHING left in me for the house.
Now my boss is wondering if I will work full-time past our agreed "early April" date. I haven't given him an answer yet, but am waiting on the Lord to give me guidance in the matter. So pray for Seth and I as we tackle this dilemma!
Sunday, January 28, 2007
HAMBONE!
Our drive home from Chicago made our children hungry, (go figure). So we stopped at an A&W (which can be found at every Wisconsin exit.) The kids were awarded simple tops in their kid's meals. Here's what Malachi chose to do with his:



That's right, folks, he shoved it in his nose!
Sunday, January 21, 2007


By the time we had done all of this, the kids were pretty tired, so we adults were grateful for the 45 minute train ride all the way back to Kameron and Teresa's. Malachi fell asleep, and Madison, had we had another 10 minutes, would have. Needless to say, the kids went to bed rather nicely last night.

This morning we attended Kameron and Teresa's new church. It was very nice. I think half the church greeted us with either a handshake or a hug! It was a church of about eighty members (to quote Kameron). So, very quaint, but very warm and inviting. The kids did great in their classes as well.
Tomorrow morning we head home. It's hard to believe we've been here almost 4 days already! Time has flown. Pray for our journey home. It's been snowing all day here and already a couple of inches have accumulated.
Take care and God bless.










