Locks I Love

Well, I finally did it...I cut a little over a foot off my head this morning. No, I did not have a foot growing on my head. A FOOT of HAIR! That's a lot of hair. And thankfully, it was enough to donate to Locks of Love.

I'm really happy with the results, and I can't wait to try different styles with it.I'll post a pic later. I'm not sure what Seth will think, since he liked my long hair so much. I want to see his reaction in person.

Two days later:

Smile!

So we finally captured the adorable-ness that is Mathias' smile. It took two of us, but here it is:

Indian Summer

Last night, we took advantage of the higher-than-average temperatures and went for a walk.

Our packing list:

6 PB&J sandwiches

5 Spring Jackets/Vests

4 Capri Suns

3 Kids

2 Blankets

1 Double stroller

1 Bike with training wheels

1 Bag of Doritos

and Good Attitudes!

A good-natured game of Tag

She's totally got me beat!

School Pictures

When ordering school pictures for Madison this year, we opted to forego the traditional prints we've all ordered as kids, and instead only buy the cd and copyright to the photo. Now, we can print as many different sizes of her photo as we'd like, as well as e-mail and scrapbook...





And post to my blog!

Facebook Junkie

Well, I finally caved and set up my own personal Facebook account. I hesitated at first, because the last thing I need is another online information portal to have to try to keep up. But after a little prodding from some friends and family, I decided to give it a whirl.

Whirl it up, because now I'm hooked. I'm only sorry I didn't start sooner. I'm saying this because this afternoon, I was able to catch up with an old friend. My friend Christy and I met as freshmen in high school and shared a love of music with each other throughout the next four years. We were in Fast Forward and On Call together as well as Varsity and Cardinal Choir, and Christy even played her violin in my wedding. We went to dances and football games and parties together, and had a shared "independent study" time that was more spent talking than studying. Well, through the past five years, we'd lost touch with each other. I started my married life and had kids, while she went to college to pursue her degree and career. She also got married and started her life with her husband.

Christy came over today after lunch and we spent two and a half hours catching up. We talked about jobs and relationships we've had over the years, as well as future dreams and goals for our lives. It was so refreshing to just sit back and laugh with an old friend.

And I have Facebook.com to thank for that.

Christy and her husband Chris

Colic

Well, just when I thought things were "back to normal", colic rears it's ugly head. My poor child, what more must he go through?!

I'd say Tuesday night was the worst. I think I bounced him around the living room and dining room for about 2 1/2 hours...and he was crying most of the time. The only thing that seemed to help was for me to hold him upright, facing away from me, and to rub his little tummy left to right. It was still uncomfortable for him, but at least it helped him to pass some of his pent-up gas.

Yesterday was my six week check up, so I brought it up to Denny. He prescribed a liquid Zantac, and it seems to be helping...which is wierd, because he's only been on it about 14 hours now, and I would think it would take longer to take effect...but whatever it is, we'll take it! Last night was sooo much better! PTL!

25th

Last Tuesday, my parents celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary. Us kids (and when I say that, I also mean Seth and Amy) decided to re-do their bedroom. It was still the lavender butterfly motif Becca decided to decorate it back when she was in Jr. High. (It was her room at the time.) Since Mom was going to a conference in the Cities from Wednesday until Sunday, this was the perfect time to do it. However, since she wasn't leaving until after her anniversary, I decided that we should have the whole family over for supper Tuesday night...you know, so they wouldn't think I was a terrible daughter who forgot their 25th!

I don't have any before pictures, unfortunately, but here are the after:

Because I'm the Mom

Family of "4" No More!

I had to post this picture in response to Jeannie's post. Don't we look great?!

Mathias Smiles!

This morning I was playing with Mathias on my bed, making high pitched cooing noises and blowing softly on his face, when he SMILED at me!

I'm sure you can imagine how paranoid I've been since he had his first episode. I'm worried he won't develop like other babies...and until today, I was afraid he'd never smile at me. But lo and behold, as my cool breath crossed over his face, his lips parted and turned upward into a genuine smile! And of course, I have no pictures, because who wants to miss the awesomeness of their child's first, brief smile by running to get a camera?

Update

Mathias and I saw Dr. Denny again this past Friday. Mathias is weighing in at 11 pounds now! He's gaining about a pound a week...let's hope he doesn't continue at this pace! He'll weigh as much as me in...well, you get the idea.

Denny said that we can ditch the apnea monitor next Friday! He also took Mat's head circumference and, perhaps being alarmed that it was 39 centimeters (not exactly sure what it should've been), ordered another CT scan. Like, now. So I lugged baby, carseat, diaperbag/purse, and apnea monitor and walked over to the hospital. (Not so bad since it's right across the street.) The technician said that if Mathias wasn't completely still, they'd have to admit him, sedate him, and try it again. I said a quick prayer that that wouldn't be necessary, and wouldn't you know, Mathias really started to act "sedated" on his own! (I can't really say that I'm surprised. God works like that ;)) He didn't move a muscle!

Friday night we took off to spend the night at Seth's twin sister Sandy's place about 2 hours from our house, and then to my aunt and uncles about 20 minutes from there on Saturday. My dad and his twin brother turned 50 this June, and my uncle's birthday gift was a trip to MN to see the Viking/Packer game with his son. (They came in from North Carolina) So when we arrived home late last night, we were thrilled to hear Dr. Denny's voice on our answering machine saying that the CT results were in and that Mathias is showing vast improvement! The hemorrhage is resolving and there's no sign that the absorption of blood has caused any blockage or swelling or anything like that, so yea. PTL!

My Grown Up Christmas List

5. For some time away from the kids with my husband. Lately I feel as though we're facing each other with our arms outstretched and a crevasse between. That crevasse is called Madachias.

4. For 8 solid, uninterrupted hours of sleep. I feel like a zombie. Forgive me for making unintelligible conversation.

3. For my body back. I'd like to fit into my jeans again without cutting off circulation.

2. For an orderly house. I'd like to make it through one day getting more done than the laundry and the dishes.

1. For forgiveness from my children for "parenting from the couch". But how else do you do it when you have a 3.5 week old who needs to be fed, burped, changed, fed, burped, rocked, changed, changed, CHANGED!

HA!

THIS is what happens when you let your camera (and your son) out of your sight:

We're HOME!

Not to be forgotten...

Madison's first day of school was this week! In all the whirlwind of events, we CAN'T forget to mention that!

This is her second year of preschool at the school she attends. She LOVES it! Last year her class consisted of only 5 kids: 4 girls, one boy. This year her class size has TRIPLED!

Saying "Goodbye"

No tears shed for this goodbye:



This morning we were "discharged" from the ICN!! Mathias has gone four days without an episode, and our Dr. wanted Seth and I to start getting "comfortable" with having the huge responsibility of caring for Mathias without ICN nurses to rely on. So he sent us to our room, and said that if we're comfortable enough, we could go home tomorrow!

As for the apnea monitor that he's on, it's pretty intimidating...it's got two sensors on his chest that are held in place by some "sputtum",as the lady from the home medical store called it, a padded belt, and some velcro. If "provoked", it sends out an ear-piercing signal that I'm sure, once we're home, will offend the neighbors. So far, knock on wood, it's only sounded when the connection was loose.

Maybe my hopes are too high, but I'm very optimistic that Mathias will pull out of this just fine, and SOON. The fact that the monitor hasn't been "needed" for four days is very promising, but a comforting thing to have in case...

I'm a little apprehensive for the day he has/gets to go home, but I know that God is in control. I'll rest in that.

BIG IMPROVEMENTS!

Mathias no longer needs an IV!! He's been eating really well and his antibiotic series' are through, so this morning they took out his IV. They also took him out from under the heat lamps and he's able to be in his crib! He's still got the O2 tube in his nose, and the heart monitor probes, and probably will throughout the weekend, but we are thrilled at his progress! They're weaning him off of the O2, and sometime today they'll probably hook him up to the apnea monitor they're giving us to take home next week, so we know what to anticipate when we go home.

Thank you for all of your prayers!

We Covet Your Prayers

Yesterday morning, after Seth had left to go home to help Becca get Madison ready for her first day of school, I was sitting in my hospital bed, when Dr. Denny walked in. He sat down in the chair beside me and asked how I was doing. "Great!" I said. "I'm ready to go home!" "Well," he said, "Mathias isn't doing too well."

He explained that earlier that morning, a nurse had been in the nursery holding another baby, when she looked over at Mathias and noticed that he was turning blue. She called for another nurse and together they tried to wiggle and stimulate Mathias to get him to take a breath. They tried suctioning his mouth, thinking that a mucus blockage was making it hard for him to breathe, but that wasn't it. Finally, he did start breathing again, and his color returned to normal. He had 4 more of these episodes, including one lasting about 4 minutes before Denny was able to visit with me to let me know what was going on. Denny said he suspected some sort of acid reflux, but they were running some tests, and Mathias wouldn't be able to go home yet. They would discharge me and assign me to a new room, and I was welcome to stay for free as long as Mathias was there. He told me that I could go and see him whenever I was ready. After he left the room, I called Seth to let him know what was going on, then stood in the shower and bawled.

When I got the the Intensive Care Nursery (ICN), Mathias was in the middle of another episode, and his nurse and Dr. Denny were there trying to coax him to breathe. He was connected by all sorts of tubes and wires to various monitors, and they were holding an O2 hose up to his face to encourage him. I put my finger in his hand and he gripped it tightly. I stood there and watched as tears streamed down my face.

A pediatrician was consulted, and after she watched him during one of these spells, she ordered a spinal tap in addition to the head ultrasound and GI tests that were already ordered. She told us that we could wait in our room until the results came in. I think we were in our room about an hour, hour and a half, when she came to tell us that in doing the spinal tap, they found blood in his spinal fluid, and that that was indicative of bleeding on the brain. They were going to do a CT scan and she'd come back and tell us the results. As soon as she left the room, I started crying and Seth and I held each other. When she came back, she told us that Mathias had a subarachnoid hemorrhage. She said that although these are not common, they're not uncommon either. However, they're more common in premature babies. She said Mathias was a textbook case. Babies are born appearing to be very healthy, and then about 2 days later, they have difficulty breathing. A lot of times, this happens after the baby goes home, and perhaps, many cases are missed because of infant fatality.

I feel extremely blessed that this happened when it did, and that we had Mathias in the nursery overnight instead of in the room with us. He's such a content baby that when he has these episodes, he doesn't make a sound. I think that under different circumstances, we may have discovered this too late.

Mathias is doing wonderfully today. At about 6pm last night, they taped an O2 tube to his nose, with the oxygen constantly flowing into his nostrils. Since then, he has had NO epidodes! He's on an antibiotic until tomorrow, and they'll keep him through the weekend. If, at that point, he's ready to go home, they'll send him home with a monitoring device that will let us know if these spells happen again.

Thank you for your prayers for Mathias and the rest of our family. I'll try to keep everyone posted on Mathias' condition. We love you all.

Meet Mathias Paul!

Mathias was born Monday, September 3, 2007 at 8:37 PM. He was 8 lb. 7 oz. and was 21" long.

Welcome to our world, Mathias!

Anniversaries

It stinks to have to couple an anniversary of a good thing with something you'd rather not remember.

Today is Seth's 2 year anniversary working for the electrical company he works for. It's a day to be celebrated (especially since it means 3 more paid holidays and some more vacation time.) It's a company he's proud to work for, so to tuck another year away under his belt is something to be proud of. He's really had a great experience working for this company. He started this job just a few months after college graduation, and a few months later, decided to apply for a better position within the company and got it! He works in a positive atmosphere with great christian bosses. It's ssssuper.

But, today is also the 1 year anniversary of the loss of our third child. That's something that I'd rather not remember, but something that I feel needs to be remembered. I need to revisit that day every so often to remind myself that I'm not in control. God is. He knew that there was something else in store for our family. It's hard to understand, but I know that he has a great plan for this one we're now anxiously anticipating.

If you've ever lost a child, it's debilitating. I don't remember a lot of the details from that day and the ones that immediately followed, but I can pick out some of the more vivid events: I remember being at work and feeling "crampy". I went to the bathroom and found out I was bleeding. I "took care of the situation" and went back to my desk to finish out the day. I don't know why I didn't just go home, I guess I just didn't want to draw attention to myself. I spent the rest of the day in a bit of a fog, just waiting for 2:00 to roll around so I could split. I don't really remember what happened between then and 7:45. I may have called Seth to come home early and help me with the kids, or taken a nap...but I remember watching a reality tv program in between trips to the bathroom. It was one of those where the participants are, one by one, voted out of the game by their peers. I remember watching one of the women on the show crying in front of the camera because she knew she was "next". I sat there with tears streaming down my cheeks thinking that "eviction" was such a stupid thing to be crying about. I was actually mad at this woman. Seth just held me and we cried together.

The next morning I called work to let them know I wouldn't be there and why. Then Seth called the clinic and made an appointment to come in. They told us to bring in what I can only remember as a cool whip container containing our hopes and dreams for this child we had only a week ago been thrilled to "meet" as the Dr. had miraculously detected an early heartbeat. I think I spent most of the day in bed, going from dozing to crying to dozing again. My world was spinning out of control and I was powerless to stop it. I felt as though no one cared. There wasn't going to be a memorial service or an obituary. There wasn't anything to do to memorialize this life that we had already loved. I cried out to God for answers, but all I felt was emptiness. I was mad that I couldn't control this situation on my own. I had to surrender my control and climb into his lap in order to feel comfort.

Even a year later, this loss is still fresh in my mind, but the pain is subdued with the anticipation of our newest family member. This child will never take the place of the one we lost, but it helps to soothe our souls knowing that God hasn't forgotten us. In return, we'll not forget the one we lost- one year ago today.