Another Thing to be Proud of...

As rotton as I felt yesterday, I still managed to be somewhat productive. (And as long as Mat wasn't going to let me sleep, I might as well have gotten something done...)

That's right, FIVE STINKIN' scrapbook pages! Let me tell you, if you're at all behind in your scrapbooking and need some motivation? You NEED to get the Everyday Power Palette from Creative Memories. There's enough in there do complete a whole scrapbook and still have some left over! And the best part? Everything co-ordinates! I have quite a bit of cheap-o Dollar Store stuff, and sometimes even the stuff in the same pack doesn't even match! So if you're like me and you're ready to fill your long, stuck inside, freezing cold days doing something productive, go here and order an Everyday Power Palette for yourself!

Oh, My Aching Body!

It's amazing how one day you can feel just fine-good, in fact-and the next feel like you hit a freight train.

As I type this with my freezing cold fingers, I can consciously feel every part of my body. My feet ache, my back aches. My head and neck ache. When Seth or one of the kids touches me, I can feel a surge run through my sore body. My eyes are all red and bloodshot.

But good news: Lunchtime is about to conclude, and then my two older children will be off to dreamland. The bad news? Mathias just awoke from an hour and a half morning nap and I don't forsee him settling back in between the sheets any time soon.

Well, I'll just make myself a cup of hot something-or-other and burrow into blankets on the couch. I'll pop in our taping of IDOL last night and pull Mat and his bouncer right up next to me. And, hopefully, I can catch some healing ZZZs.

Sleepy Boy

Remember when you could sleep anywhere?
Yea, me neither.

V-Day 2008

We had a really fun day this past Thursday. The morning was spent planning and executing our grand Valentine's Day Lunch Banquet! Madison loved being involved in surprising her Daddy when he came home from lunch. (Malachi's time was rather spent playing with toys in his bedroom.) So upon arrival, Daddy was met with abundant heart-shaped gourmet that promised to tickle his palate.

After work, Seth took me to supper at a restaurant that is notorious for it's

R E A L L Y S L O W S E R V I C E

(and, of course, it's decadent Spinach and Artichoke Dip) but fortunately, our order was expedited very swiftly, and we were out the door in no time! We made it back to town in time for the early showing of FOOLS GOLD

Basement Before/After

This Picture Makes Me Laugh

If'n you know my daughter Madison, you can't help but laugh...

See? TOLDJA!

Something to be Aware of...

Cell phone numbers just went public !!

REMINDER....all cell phone numbers have been released to telemarketing companies and you will start to receive sales calls.

YOU WILL BE CHARGED FOR THESE CALLS

To prevent this, call the following number from yourcell phone:

888-382-1222.

or go to www.donotcall.gov

It is the Federal DO NOT CALL list. It will only take aminute of your time. It blocks your number for five (5) years. You must call from the phone number you want to have blocked if you do it by phone. You cannot call from a different phone number.

I hope you find this helpful!

Bloggity Blog

Hey Strangers!

My appologies for neglecting my faithful 2 readers! :D You know, when one works from home, the last thing one wants to do is spend more time than necessary on one's computer! (And, regretfully, that includes blogging...)

But anyway, I'm here today to update you on the recent goings on in our family. One of the last times we spoke, I told you of Mathias' MRI appointment. Well, of course the results came back positive, (as in, "Good Results") and Mathias is going to be just fine! They said they could see where the bleed had occured on the sub-arachnoid portion of his brain, but that it was healing nicely. So other than a bout with Thrush, which left a crazy diaper rash, Mathias is a happy, healthy little boy! PRAISE THE LORD!

We recently registered Malachi for preschool, and he couldn't be more excited! He keeps reminding me that he'll need a backpack for school next year. (Oh yea! Good thing you reminded me Malachi, I might have forgotten! :D) His newest favorite toy is a Nintendo 64 my cousin gave to us for Christmas. He's always asking if he can play "Mario Party" and his favorite character is "Lily-oshi", which, I'm pretty sure is Luigi... or is it Yoshi?

Madison has become quite interested in gymnastics lately, (more on that later) and is often asking us to help her do a handstand or showing us her somersaults. She's quite helpful and is always willing to play with her little brothers to keep them happy when Mommy's busy. She's started to really enjoy drawing. We found an old drawing instruction book at Grandma's that she said Madison could have, so now she asks me to help her draw the various animals and structures in that book. She's pretty good, I think!

Perhaps the reason Madison likes gymnastics so much lately is that her daddy is the new JV Gymnastics coach for our school system! I know, I know-gymnastics?! But the program needed a strong guy for the job, and since Seth has previous coaching experience, they gave it to him! He really enjoys it and it seems the girls on the team are really glad he's there as well! Seth's also been really busy at work lately: finishing a couple of bigger jobs down in Texas, bidding new ones, he's been puting in a lot of overtime lately. And as if that doesn't make him busy enough, he's now added our church's Easter Program and the completion of our basement into the mix!

He's agreed, for the 3rd year now, to play "Doubting Thomas" in THE PROMISE at our church. With how busy he's been, he wouldn't have agreed to do it, save for the fact that the whole rest of his family is going to be involved this year! That's right, our Music Pastor has agreed to let Mathias be just another face in the crowd as my baby. The older kids voiced their interest to be children in the program, so I asked him if I could join the choir again and tote Mat around with me. It's something that hasn't been done before (a baby townsperson), but he seemed to like the idea. I'm actually really looking forward to it ;D.

The basement is really nearing completion! Seth and I worked on glueing/taping down most of the carpet last night, and we have one more piece to attach to the floor and then my sister can move in! Granted, we won't have the bathroom finished for her, and we still need to lay tile in the entry area, but it'll be finished enough to move her in. I'll have before/after pictures soon!

Well, hopefully that gets you up to date!

And The Winner Is...

Remember this post? The one where I asked you guys to vote for my friend Teresa's cousin Parker to win the Gap Casting Call? Well, follow this link because the winners were announced today:

Meet The Winners!

Then watch the Rachael Ray show this afternoon on Channel 11 at 2pm!

Congratulations Parker!!

Quote For The Day

"Madithon, I know our baby brother ith a gift."

-Malachi

MRIs and a Merry Christmas

Yesterday was (hopefully) our final specialty appointment for Mathias. He had an MRI at Children's in the Cities. It all went very smoothly (he didn't, however, like the medicine they gave him to help him sleep through the testing). We were required not to feed him or let him sleep for 3 1/2 hours before the test, and I was so worried that he'd be irritable, but he was just great! We should know the results of the MRI next week sometime.

Mat & Daddy: waiting to be sedated

To squelch criticism that there aren't enough "me" pics on here...

Chloral Hydrate- Not. Pleasant.

Do your thing. Just let me sleep!

In other news. Seth and I decided to forego the traditional exchanging of gifts this year and instead, take a night away. Since we had to keep Mat awake the 3 1/2 hours prior to his appointment, and that's difficult to do on a long car ride, we thought this would be a great time to do it. So we booked ourselves a nice suite and headed for the Cities a night early. We had a relaxing time together, free from stress and responsibility...who knows, maybe this will become an annual tradition?!

What Do You Do All Day?

Okay, I know I haven't posted a lot of original stuff on my blog lately, but this one I just couldn't resist. Thanks Teresa!

What Do You Do All Day?

A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard.

The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog.

Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.

In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened.

He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.

As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel.

She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked,"What happened here today?"

She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world I do all day?" "Yes," was his incredulous reply.

She answered,"Well, today I didn't do it."

Logan's Calf

All You Gotta Do...

Is Ask:

Our church hired a photography company to come in and take pictures for the new directory. Of course, once they take the perfect picture(s) you're always tempted to buy, right? Right. But what if all you had to buy was the copyright, and a copy of your favorite picture? Is that an option?

We asked.

We received.

New Again

What?!?

I'm not sure where she got it...this sudden need to have her hand kissed. But I have to admit I thought it a bit bizarre when she asked me, in the grocery store, if "those two guys" could kiss her hand if they wanted...two random guys I'd never seen before. Not gonna lie: kinda freaked me out a little.

I mentioned to Seth that I thought he should offer to kiss her hand, and maybe this wierd little fettish of hers would dissipate...and he went above and beyond.

Friday after work, Seth stopped by the flower shop to pick up the above...because he not only wanted to be the first to kiss her hand, but also the first to bring her real flowers...roses, no less.

Vote for Parker!

You've all read about my friend Teresa, and again here, and once more here. Well, Teresa's cousin Abby's son Parker needs your help!

You see, Parker has been chosen, out of over 800,000 entrants, as a babyGAP finalist!

"Parker was part of a photo shoot in mid-November in San Francisco, and his photo is now online as part of the contest to be decided by the public. The contest to find the children to be the next babyGap and GapKids models is now open to online voters...four children will be chosen: a boy and a girl from two age groups. People can log onto www.gap.com/castingcall to view the finalists and vote. Voting ends December 15. Each winner will be featured in the windows of babyGap and GapKids stores nationwide early next year. They'll also receive other prizes, including an appearance on the Rachael Ray show January 28 when Ray will help unveil the winners as part of her show."-West Central Tribune

(The paper said it better than I ever could.)

Please vote! You can vote once a day with your e-mail address, but please don't enter with more than one, as that will disqualify both of your entries!

If you want to know more about Parker's SanFran experience from his mommy's perspective, check out Abby's Blog.

Get voting!

BFFs

Madison has this friend at school, a boy. His name is Brett. Brett and Madison are, as Brett's mom and I have been finding out, best friends. Let me share with you some of the cute conversations these two best friends have been having:

One morning when Syna was picking up Brett and his cousin Daniel from school, Madison poked her head toward the open car door and said, "Good bye Daniel. Good bye Brett, I love you." Without missing a beat, Brett replied, "good bye Madison, I love you." So after pulling her car away from the curb, Syna asked, "What was that you said to Madison, Brett?" To which Brett replied, "Yea, we're best friends."

On Halloween morning when I was getting Madison dressed for school, I noticed that her black boots were getting a little scuffed. She watched as I colored in the scuff marks with black Magic Marker. While at school, Madison showed Brett her doctored footwear and said, "I'm worried my friends will laugh at me because my boots are colored on." So Brett reasurred her: "If they do, I'll kick their butts!"

The fact that Madison has chosen Brett to be her best friend, is alright with me. As parents, I know we often worry about the company our children keep. But in this case, I know that Brett's parents have a lot of our same values, so this relationship is one I condone. Besides that, I think you'll agree that their conversations give Syna and I lots to chuckle about!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Today is Madison's 5th birthday! Here are some birthday party pictures for your enjoyment:

Smitten

Do you ever just find yourself so full of love for someone that you could just pop?

Sometimes I am stricken with the realization of how much love I feel for my husband. It just takes my breath away. How could I be so lucky to have found the man of my dreams at such a young age? The more I ponder and reflect on the many great qualities of my husband, I realize that there really aren't enough men like him in the world.

How blessed am I to have found one of the few?

And how doubley blessed that he loves me?

And then I look at our three gorgeous children, and I think, "we did that", and my heart swells again. And then I watch him with them: how he jokes with them incessantly, how he whistles while he tirelessly performs the mundane tasks of bathing them, and dressing them, and feeding them. How he takes them outside to play with them, or to take them to a park. How he loves them.

I often wonder what great thing I must've done to deserve such an awesome man. And then I realize that I don't. I don't deserve any of it. I don't deserve my kids, I don't deserve my husband, I don't deserve God.

*Sigh* What love is this? If I feel this much love for my husband, how much more so must God love us. He sent his son to die. For me. Maybe this feeling I have is a gift from God, to show me just a sliver of the love he has for us.

Big Boy...and other miscellaneous news

Last Wednesday was Mathias' 2 month check up. He weighed in at 14.5 pounds and 24 inches long! That puts him in the 95th percentile for height and 100th percentile for weight! He's HUGE! He's going to be a football player like his daddy. He also got three shots. Naturally, he didn't like that. He let us know.

We spent Friday night at Saturday visiting my brother and sister-in-law in Mankato. We went to the mall and the kids rode on their indoor carousel! They loved that, as I'm sure you can imagine!

Yesterday morning we skipped our regular Sunday School to attend a special Child Dedication class instead. You see, we've decided to dedicate Mathias to the Lord, and to publicly dedicate our lives to raising him (and, of course, his big brother and sister, who were also dedicated as infants) in a home that loves and honors God. The dedication ceremony will take place next Sunday.

Enter Title Here

Well, I'm back to work. But the good news is, I get to do it from home! I'm working for the same company, but now I work with a different boss than before as the "Purchasing Assistant".

Now, instead having to commute 10 minutes each way everyday, I can get my work done in the comfort of my jammies in my own home. I get the best of both worlds!

It does, however, have it's drawbacks. I had a processor call me back today...and I was scared to death my kids would start fighting, or screaming or something while I was on the phone. Luckily, that didn't happen...this time. I guess Mommy will really have to try HARD to teach her kids proper etiquette while she's on the phone.

So my day has gone a little like this:

7:30 Up and at 'em. The whole family was up and picking up bedrooms. Mommy put the first load of laundry in, and took two loads upstairs. (One from yesterday.) I put them away, all the while picking up things from where they DON'T belong and puting them where they DO.

8:00 I check my e-mail.

8:30 Breakfast! At this point, the kids were sick of picking up their room and entertaining themselves and they're hungry. I feed them and the baby, wash up the dishes and clean the kitchen.

9:00 Time to advance that laundry again.

10:30 Our first Lesson. I explain to the kids that there's to be NO talking while Mommy's on the phone. I need to make a few phone calls. But just in case the message doesn't sink in, I lock myself in a separate part of the house to make the calls. I get a hold of two of the processors and the third I leave a message to call me back. I also order long distance phone service because calling cards aren't the most convenient.

11:00 That darned laundry.

11:30 I make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and give the kids small cookie cutters to make their own sandwich shapes. This goes over pretty well, so I take the stove apart to wash it.

12:30 Just after Daddy leaves to go back to work, the phone rings...it's the processor calling me back! I run into the dining room, making signals for the kids to be really quiet. They did, and I made a big deal to praise them for it, hoping they'll remember the positive reinforcement next time.

1:00 I herd the kids upstairs to go potty, wash up, and take their naps. Then I put away some more laundry.

1:30 I check my e-mail again, and for the first time this week, take a minute to blog :D

Bye Bye Brittany

For the past several months, my parents have fostered a girl named Brittany. So I guess technically, that's what she is: my foster sister. But Brittany has become more than that in those few short months. She's definitely more like a sister to me, and an auntie to my kids. We certainly love her as such.

Yesterday, my folks threw her a surprise going away party, because after this weekend, she's going to live with her grandmother an hour away. It was a great party, but all the while I was wishing it was for something else. Anything else. My parents have had many foster kids over the years, and we have loved each of them in a different way, but Brittany found her way into the deepest parts of our hearts.

We'll really miss you Brittany!

Liz, Me and Brittany

Halloween 2007

My two big Halloweenies


Kitty Kat and Batman

Locks I Love

Well, I finally did it...I cut a little over a foot off my head this morning. No, I did not have a foot growing on my head. A FOOT of HAIR! That's a lot of hair. And thankfully, it was enough to donate to Locks of Love.

I'm really happy with the results, and I can't wait to try different styles with it.I'll post a pic later. I'm not sure what Seth will think, since he liked my long hair so much. I want to see his reaction in person.

Two days later:

Smile!

So we finally captured the adorable-ness that is Mathias' smile. It took two of us, but here it is:

Indian Summer

Last night, we took advantage of the higher-than-average temperatures and went for a walk.

Our packing list:

6 PB&J sandwiches

5 Spring Jackets/Vests

4 Capri Suns

3 Kids

2 Blankets

1 Double stroller

1 Bike with training wheels

1 Bag of Doritos

and Good Attitudes!

A good-natured game of Tag

She's totally got me beat!

School Pictures

When ordering school pictures for Madison this year, we opted to forego the traditional prints we've all ordered as kids, and instead only buy the cd and copyright to the photo. Now, we can print as many different sizes of her photo as we'd like, as well as e-mail and scrapbook...





And post to my blog!

Facebook Junkie

Well, I finally caved and set up my own personal Facebook account. I hesitated at first, because the last thing I need is another online information portal to have to try to keep up. But after a little prodding from some friends and family, I decided to give it a whirl.

Whirl it up, because now I'm hooked. I'm only sorry I didn't start sooner. I'm saying this because this afternoon, I was able to catch up with an old friend. My friend Christy and I met as freshmen in high school and shared a love of music with each other throughout the next four years. We were in Fast Forward and On Call together as well as Varsity and Cardinal Choir, and Christy even played her violin in my wedding. We went to dances and football games and parties together, and had a shared "independent study" time that was more spent talking than studying. Well, through the past five years, we'd lost touch with each other. I started my married life and had kids, while she went to college to pursue her degree and career. She also got married and started her life with her husband.

Christy came over today after lunch and we spent two and a half hours catching up. We talked about jobs and relationships we've had over the years, as well as future dreams and goals for our lives. It was so refreshing to just sit back and laugh with an old friend.

And I have Facebook.com to thank for that.

Christy and her husband Chris

Colic

Well, just when I thought things were "back to normal", colic rears it's ugly head. My poor child, what more must he go through?!

I'd say Tuesday night was the worst. I think I bounced him around the living room and dining room for about 2 1/2 hours...and he was crying most of the time. The only thing that seemed to help was for me to hold him upright, facing away from me, and to rub his little tummy left to right. It was still uncomfortable for him, but at least it helped him to pass some of his pent-up gas.

Yesterday was my six week check up, so I brought it up to Denny. He prescribed a liquid Zantac, and it seems to be helping...which is wierd, because he's only been on it about 14 hours now, and I would think it would take longer to take effect...but whatever it is, we'll take it! Last night was sooo much better! PTL!

25th

Last Tuesday, my parents celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary. Us kids (and when I say that, I also mean Seth and Amy) decided to re-do their bedroom. It was still the lavender butterfly motif Becca decided to decorate it back when she was in Jr. High. (It was her room at the time.) Since Mom was going to a conference in the Cities from Wednesday until Sunday, this was the perfect time to do it. However, since she wasn't leaving until after her anniversary, I decided that we should have the whole family over for supper Tuesday night...you know, so they wouldn't think I was a terrible daughter who forgot their 25th!

I don't have any before pictures, unfortunately, but here are the after:

Because I'm the Mom

Family of "4" No More!

I had to post this picture in response to Jeannie's post. Don't we look great?!

Mathias Smiles!

This morning I was playing with Mathias on my bed, making high pitched cooing noises and blowing softly on his face, when he SMILED at me!

I'm sure you can imagine how paranoid I've been since he had his first episode. I'm worried he won't develop like other babies...and until today, I was afraid he'd never smile at me. But lo and behold, as my cool breath crossed over his face, his lips parted and turned upward into a genuine smile! And of course, I have no pictures, because who wants to miss the awesomeness of their child's first, brief smile by running to get a camera?

Update

Mathias and I saw Dr. Denny again this past Friday. Mathias is weighing in at 11 pounds now! He's gaining about a pound a week...let's hope he doesn't continue at this pace! He'll weigh as much as me in...well, you get the idea.

Denny said that we can ditch the apnea monitor next Friday! He also took Mat's head circumference and, perhaps being alarmed that it was 39 centimeters (not exactly sure what it should've been), ordered another CT scan. Like, now. So I lugged baby, carseat, diaperbag/purse, and apnea monitor and walked over to the hospital. (Not so bad since it's right across the street.) The technician said that if Mathias wasn't completely still, they'd have to admit him, sedate him, and try it again. I said a quick prayer that that wouldn't be necessary, and wouldn't you know, Mathias really started to act "sedated" on his own! (I can't really say that I'm surprised. God works like that ;)) He didn't move a muscle!

Friday night we took off to spend the night at Seth's twin sister Sandy's place about 2 hours from our house, and then to my aunt and uncles about 20 minutes from there on Saturday. My dad and his twin brother turned 50 this June, and my uncle's birthday gift was a trip to MN to see the Viking/Packer game with his son. (They came in from North Carolina) So when we arrived home late last night, we were thrilled to hear Dr. Denny's voice on our answering machine saying that the CT results were in and that Mathias is showing vast improvement! The hemorrhage is resolving and there's no sign that the absorption of blood has caused any blockage or swelling or anything like that, so yea. PTL!

My Grown Up Christmas List

5. For some time away from the kids with my husband. Lately I feel as though we're facing each other with our arms outstretched and a crevasse between. That crevasse is called Madachias.

4. For 8 solid, uninterrupted hours of sleep. I feel like a zombie. Forgive me for making unintelligible conversation.

3. For my body back. I'd like to fit into my jeans again without cutting off circulation.

2. For an orderly house. I'd like to make it through one day getting more done than the laundry and the dishes.

1. For forgiveness from my children for "parenting from the couch". But how else do you do it when you have a 3.5 week old who needs to be fed, burped, changed, fed, burped, rocked, changed, changed, CHANGED!

HA!

THIS is what happens when you let your camera (and your son) out of your sight:

We're HOME!

Not to be forgotten...

Madison's first day of school was this week! In all the whirlwind of events, we CAN'T forget to mention that!

This is her second year of preschool at the school she attends. She LOVES it! Last year her class consisted of only 5 kids: 4 girls, one boy. This year her class size has TRIPLED!

Saying "Goodbye"

No tears shed for this goodbye:



This morning we were "discharged" from the ICN!! Mathias has gone four days without an episode, and our Dr. wanted Seth and I to start getting "comfortable" with having the huge responsibility of caring for Mathias without ICN nurses to rely on. So he sent us to our room, and said that if we're comfortable enough, we could go home tomorrow!

As for the apnea monitor that he's on, it's pretty intimidating...it's got two sensors on his chest that are held in place by some "sputtum",as the lady from the home medical store called it, a padded belt, and some velcro. If "provoked", it sends out an ear-piercing signal that I'm sure, once we're home, will offend the neighbors. So far, knock on wood, it's only sounded when the connection was loose.

Maybe my hopes are too high, but I'm very optimistic that Mathias will pull out of this just fine, and SOON. The fact that the monitor hasn't been "needed" for four days is very promising, but a comforting thing to have in case...

I'm a little apprehensive for the day he has/gets to go home, but I know that God is in control. I'll rest in that.

BIG IMPROVEMENTS!

Mathias no longer needs an IV!! He's been eating really well and his antibiotic series' are through, so this morning they took out his IV. They also took him out from under the heat lamps and he's able to be in his crib! He's still got the O2 tube in his nose, and the heart monitor probes, and probably will throughout the weekend, but we are thrilled at his progress! They're weaning him off of the O2, and sometime today they'll probably hook him up to the apnea monitor they're giving us to take home next week, so we know what to anticipate when we go home.

Thank you for all of your prayers!

We Covet Your Prayers

Yesterday morning, after Seth had left to go home to help Becca get Madison ready for her first day of school, I was sitting in my hospital bed, when Dr. Denny walked in. He sat down in the chair beside me and asked how I was doing. "Great!" I said. "I'm ready to go home!" "Well," he said, "Mathias isn't doing too well."

He explained that earlier that morning, a nurse had been in the nursery holding another baby, when she looked over at Mathias and noticed that he was turning blue. She called for another nurse and together they tried to wiggle and stimulate Mathias to get him to take a breath. They tried suctioning his mouth, thinking that a mucus blockage was making it hard for him to breathe, but that wasn't it. Finally, he did start breathing again, and his color returned to normal. He had 4 more of these episodes, including one lasting about 4 minutes before Denny was able to visit with me to let me know what was going on. Denny said he suspected some sort of acid reflux, but they were running some tests, and Mathias wouldn't be able to go home yet. They would discharge me and assign me to a new room, and I was welcome to stay for free as long as Mathias was there. He told me that I could go and see him whenever I was ready. After he left the room, I called Seth to let him know what was going on, then stood in the shower and bawled.

When I got the the Intensive Care Nursery (ICN), Mathias was in the middle of another episode, and his nurse and Dr. Denny were there trying to coax him to breathe. He was connected by all sorts of tubes and wires to various monitors, and they were holding an O2 hose up to his face to encourage him. I put my finger in his hand and he gripped it tightly. I stood there and watched as tears streamed down my face.

A pediatrician was consulted, and after she watched him during one of these spells, she ordered a spinal tap in addition to the head ultrasound and GI tests that were already ordered. She told us that we could wait in our room until the results came in. I think we were in our room about an hour, hour and a half, when she came to tell us that in doing the spinal tap, they found blood in his spinal fluid, and that that was indicative of bleeding on the brain. They were going to do a CT scan and she'd come back and tell us the results. As soon as she left the room, I started crying and Seth and I held each other. When she came back, she told us that Mathias had a subarachnoid hemorrhage. She said that although these are not common, they're not uncommon either. However, they're more common in premature babies. She said Mathias was a textbook case. Babies are born appearing to be very healthy, and then about 2 days later, they have difficulty breathing. A lot of times, this happens after the baby goes home, and perhaps, many cases are missed because of infant fatality.

I feel extremely blessed that this happened when it did, and that we had Mathias in the nursery overnight instead of in the room with us. He's such a content baby that when he has these episodes, he doesn't make a sound. I think that under different circumstances, we may have discovered this too late.

Mathias is doing wonderfully today. At about 6pm last night, they taped an O2 tube to his nose, with the oxygen constantly flowing into his nostrils. Since then, he has had NO epidodes! He's on an antibiotic until tomorrow, and they'll keep him through the weekend. If, at that point, he's ready to go home, they'll send him home with a monitoring device that will let us know if these spells happen again.

Thank you for your prayers for Mathias and the rest of our family. I'll try to keep everyone posted on Mathias' condition. We love you all.

Meet Mathias Paul!

Mathias was born Monday, September 3, 2007 at 8:37 PM. He was 8 lb. 7 oz. and was 21" long.

Welcome to our world, Mathias!

Anniversaries

It stinks to have to couple an anniversary of a good thing with something you'd rather not remember.

Today is Seth's 2 year anniversary working for the electrical company he works for. It's a day to be celebrated (especially since it means 3 more paid holidays and some more vacation time.) It's a company he's proud to work for, so to tuck another year away under his belt is something to be proud of. He's really had a great experience working for this company. He started this job just a few months after college graduation, and a few months later, decided to apply for a better position within the company and got it! He works in a positive atmosphere with great christian bosses. It's ssssuper.

But, today is also the 1 year anniversary of the loss of our third child. That's something that I'd rather not remember, but something that I feel needs to be remembered. I need to revisit that day every so often to remind myself that I'm not in control. God is. He knew that there was something else in store for our family. It's hard to understand, but I know that he has a great plan for this one we're now anxiously anticipating.

If you've ever lost a child, it's debilitating. I don't remember a lot of the details from that day and the ones that immediately followed, but I can pick out some of the more vivid events: I remember being at work and feeling "crampy". I went to the bathroom and found out I was bleeding. I "took care of the situation" and went back to my desk to finish out the day. I don't know why I didn't just go home, I guess I just didn't want to draw attention to myself. I spent the rest of the day in a bit of a fog, just waiting for 2:00 to roll around so I could split. I don't really remember what happened between then and 7:45. I may have called Seth to come home early and help me with the kids, or taken a nap...but I remember watching a reality tv program in between trips to the bathroom. It was one of those where the participants are, one by one, voted out of the game by their peers. I remember watching one of the women on the show crying in front of the camera because she knew she was "next". I sat there with tears streaming down my cheeks thinking that "eviction" was such a stupid thing to be crying about. I was actually mad at this woman. Seth just held me and we cried together.

The next morning I called work to let them know I wouldn't be there and why. Then Seth called the clinic and made an appointment to come in. They told us to bring in what I can only remember as a cool whip container containing our hopes and dreams for this child we had only a week ago been thrilled to "meet" as the Dr. had miraculously detected an early heartbeat. I think I spent most of the day in bed, going from dozing to crying to dozing again. My world was spinning out of control and I was powerless to stop it. I felt as though no one cared. There wasn't going to be a memorial service or an obituary. There wasn't anything to do to memorialize this life that we had already loved. I cried out to God for answers, but all I felt was emptiness. I was mad that I couldn't control this situation on my own. I had to surrender my control and climb into his lap in order to feel comfort.

Even a year later, this loss is still fresh in my mind, but the pain is subdued with the anticipation of our newest family member. This child will never take the place of the one we lost, but it helps to soothe our souls knowing that God hasn't forgotten us. In return, we'll not forget the one we lost- one year ago today.

One Big Happy

This past weekend, another member was added to our family. No, no baby yet. A new sister!

Welcome to our family, Amy!